Submitted Article
Do manners matter? I think it’s safe to assume that an overwhelming majority of you would agree that they do indeed. At school, we know and respect that our students’ parents are the first, and most important, teachers in their lives. Basic manners lessons come from home and start years before we can teach and enforce them in school.
At school, we obviously have structure, rules, expectations, etc., that we teach and enforce. Manners are either directly enumerated in those rules, or they are woven throughout our entire culture. Manners span the gamut of using “please” & “thank you” to how a student talks to a teacher, or any adult, in our building. To me, youth speaking to adults begins with a simple title. Every adult should generally be addressed with a Mr., Mrs., or Coach. We should expect that. Respect for adults/authority begins here and it is rooted in good manners.
“Culture” is a ubiquitous term and it is the all-encompassing sensation that exists within every organization. The sights, sounds, smells, and most important, feel of a school is at the unquestionable foundation of the experiences that our students, teachers, and guests have. Culture needs constant attention and “massaging” and manners are a big component of it.
A disciplined environment contributes to a positive culture but oftentimes, “discipline” is construed as a negative experience. So are consequences. This is the delicate relationship that we have with our students and where we hope to be able to reinforce expectations without doing harm to relationships.
It’s akin to the “broken windows” theory of criminal activity. Broken windows in an abandoned building, which doesn’t necessarily seem like a serious concern other than an eye sore, sends a message that leads to a higher level of criminal activity. Tending to minor offenses, like lack of manners, creates a generally accepted atmosphere of order, respect, and following the rules.
Also, intent matters. We use our judgment on if a student accidentally behaved boorishly or if they worked up a good belch and then pushed it out for the entire lunchroom to hear! And, routine boorishness matters. If we have to remind someone to use their manners time and again, we may have a clear defiance behavior and that is overtly counter to the culture we work hard to grow here at Plainview Public Schools.
It feels a little like “back to the future”. Manners is not a term, or expectation, of the past. Kindness should never go out of style. So reinforce good manners at home with your children please. And thank you!